The Difference Between Darkness and Black
by MistyxKisame
Summary: Severus is in love with Sirius, but that love disappears when Sirius rapes him. What will he do now that he's pregnant with his child and a certain werewolf is in love with him? Main pairing: Sirius x Severus. Minor pairings: Severus x Remus, James x Remus, James x Lily, Voldemort x Severus. Story ranges from marauders' time period to afterwards.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Sirius x Severus story, so if characters are OOC then don't blame me…well you can but it won't do any good. I don't own Harry Potter and never will. This disclaimer is true. Anyway, this story is mpreg and contains violence, rape, angst (you'll see why later), incest (not between who you think), and other things. You may think that some characters are jerks, but you will probably warm up to them over time. This story contains some OCs because I'm not really sure who went to school during when the marauders were still around except maybe Draco's mom and dad. The story will sometimes be in Snape's POV and sometimes not. I will put Snape's POV if it's his POV and nothing if it isn't. Enjoy if you can. Chapter is based during the end of year 5. In this story, Severus is just a bit older than Sirius cuz I'm not really sure how far apart their ages are. This story will include Remus x Severus.

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Severus was not having a good time, but at the same time he was. Lily had somehow gotten him to agree to go to an end of the school year dance. The slytherin had never been a party type of person and doubted he ever would be. Lily had told him that maybe he would finally find that special girl he been dreaming of. Of course this statement earned his best friend a glare. She knew as well as he that he had never in the history of ever, dreamed about girls or anyone as a matter of fact…with the exception of one person…Sirius Black.

Even though the two seemed to despise each other on the outside, Severus actually had a soft spot for the younger boy. Severus knew that this relationship was never to be since Sirius clearly hated his guts to the extreme. He hadn't told anyone about his crush, not even Lily. He knew she would try and find a way to make it happen, but he knew it just wouldn't happen. Sirius knowing would be the end of him. He felt like he could just slither into a hole and never come out at just the thought of it.

"Come on and dance with me Sev!" Lily smiled grabbing his hands and trying to pull him to the dance floor.

"No way! I don't want to make a fool of myself!" Severus didn't want any reason for Potter or his friends to make fun of him.

"Ok then!" Lily waved. "I guess I have to dance with the others!"

Severus sighed with relief. At least now he could be alone. As he stood near the open doorway, he decided to look at all the scenery around him. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. As long as no one bothered him, he was having a good time also. Severus frowned in disgust at the site of the marauders flirting with some girls at the punch bowl. To his surprise, Sirius wasn't among them, which was odd. Why wasn't he there? Unless…

Severus's attention turned when a rough hand was slapped over his mouth and he was yanked outside. Before the slytherin could do anything, he went like a candle. When he had finally awakened from his sleep, his head was spinning and hurt like hell. When the pain had finally stopped, he looked around. He was in Professor Slughorn's classroom laying on the man's desk. Severus checked himself. He still had his belongings, but why was he in the classroom? As a matter of fact, who put him there? Deciding that it was best to leave before something bad happened, the slytherin went towards the door and started to open it…to his surprise, it wouldn't!

"What the heck? Why won't it open?" Severus tried again but to no avail. Suddenly a hand once again slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Where do you think you're going Sevy?" a seductive voice whispered in his ear.

'Black? What the hell is going on here?!' Severus somehow managed to gasp when Sirius grabbed his front.

"Hmmm…Severus…I didn't realize you were so big…" Sirius pushed Severus against the wall and grinded his hips against the older boy's ass, making the slytherin panic.

'He's going to rape me!' Severus tried to calm down, but Sirius just grinded even harder against him. "Si-sirius…please…don't do this…"

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this Severus…" Sirius purred. "Do you know how much I've wanted to fuck you? Ever since I've seen your beautiful face, I can't fall asleep without thinking about you. You're the reason touch myself at night…"

"Get off of me you pervert!" Severus had managed to get the Gryffindor off of him.

Sirius started laughing. "You look so cute when you're scared Sevy…"

Thinking fast, Severus quickly pulled out his wand, but sadly Sirius was just a bit faster and managed to knock the slytherin's wand out of his hand and pinned him down to Slughorn's desk.

"Either be a good bitch or I'm going to have to do this the hard way…" Sirius whispered into Snape's ear.

Severus just glared at him and spit in his face. Sirius smirked and ignored Severus's threats. No matter what he said or how much he fought back, Sirius proved to be the stronger one. After muttering a spell that was too low for Severus to hear, his clothes were stripped off and his wrists were bonded by a silvery rope that came from Black's wand. He knew it was too late to do anything now, so he just laid there as Sirius was gazing up into his eyes, with his hands clasped around the back of his neck. The Gryffindor's sweet, sweet mouth was murmuring words that he would have given anything not to hear at that moment. Severus just laid there as he had his way with him.

Why was he allowing this to happen? It was true that he loved Sirius…no, _had_ loved him, but now that love was replaced by hate and anger. How could Sirius do this to him? True, they had never gotten alone with each other, but only a low person would do this...Was Sirius drunk? Even if that were so, Sirius would remember every second of it. How Severus had moaned with both pain and mostly pleasure when Sirius penetrated him would make him the laughing stock of the entire school. No one would dare make fun of Black for obvious reasons. Black was handsome as hell and only someone who was extremely drunk would ever have sex with Severus Snape.

Severus's attention snapped back to reality as Sirius grunted one last time before pulling out of the young slytherin and laying beside him for a bit. Snape wasn't really sure what to do so he just laid there while the other boy had his eyes shut. Severus was relieved when the spell that was holding him in bondage faded. Slowly sliding off of Slughorn's desk, he realized something…the smell of sex still hung in the air and him and Sirius weren't dressed. What if someone walked in on them? Quickly looking for his wand, Severus had managed to find it under one of the student desks. He quickly dressed himself and pulled back on Sirius's underwear and pants and used a cleaning spell on both of them and on the tainted desk they had sex on.

Lifting up Sirius, who was surprisingly not too heavy, Snape placed him in a desk and snuck a peek at the clock; it was 11:30 p.m. Snape knew he had to get out of there fast because this was going to be one of the first places the marauders would look. Even if it wasn't, Severus Snape was taking no chances. How would he explain to Lily what happened to him at the party? After all, he had promised her a slow dance after she begged him for one little dance a week earlier. He would just say someone spiked his punch and he was feeling a little dizzy so he went to bed. He knew that she would buy the lie because she always trusted what he said no matter what. After finding the right spell to unlock the door, Severus left, but not before glaring and cursing the one person who broke his heart.

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I would have written more, but I don't really don't really want to continue unless people read and review or just favorite or follow. Until then, I'll just be working on my other fanfics. I didn't put a really detailed lemon in because I want to wait a bit. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to chapter two! Thanks for all the reviews! SpencerReid I am aware that rape is extremely serious and shouldn't be written about lightly. If you actually read the last chapter (aka chapter 1) you would see that Severus was in love with Sirius _before _the rape and such, but thank you for the information about the ages. No offense, but this is _just _a story that is _fiction. _As for the rest of you, enjoy.

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A/N: Characters may be OOC. Also, don't take offense to any of this content. If you do then just stop reading and get over it.

Severus's POV

I sighed with relief as I sat down in one of the compartment of the train. I still couldn't get the image of Black out of my head nor the touch of his beautiful creamy skin rubbing up against mine or the way he made me scream his name. Damn, I'm such an idiot. I still can't believe I let him rape me and I actually enjoyed it up until the fact that he was possibly drunk kicked in. Did that make it _half_-consensual? Sirius had always been the man of my dreams…up until the point when he took my virginity. The possibly of his words that night struck me in thought. Did he mean the words he said about me? How I was beautiful and how much did he loved me? The thought made me laugh. Sirius Black could never love me. Last night was just a drunken mistake. Nothing more and nothing less. I have lots of common sense.

Even as I concluded these thoughts, more questions popped up. Why did he choose me of all people to do it with? Any of those girls at the party, except Lily of course, would have died just to have sex with the most beautiful man alive. Why me? I mean, yeah I have curvy hips and long hair like a girl, but then again, if he was drunk last night, I must have looked like the most gorgeous thing in the room.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't heard Lily enter the compartment until she touched my arm.

"Severus I'm gonna go sit with Alice and the others for a bit, but I'll be back."

"Ok." I responded dully. The truth is, I needed some alone time myself to think.

As the train drove on, a sudden thought crossed my mind. Why wasn't I responding normally to being raped by the boy I've had a crush on for years? Maybe because I loved him doing to me what I've been dreaming he would do to me for years…making me moan with pleasure…scream his name…hear his heartbeat…hear his sweet lips whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Now that I think about it, another reason would be that be that he was gentle when other rapist would have been brutal. At first when I wasn't enjoying it, he would kiss away the tears I cried and told me, "Sh…hush Severus…I promise I'll be as gentle as possible…" which contradicted his earlier words. I guess I would have to say this was him being his bipolar self.

It was only when the afterglow disappeared, was when I remembered this was rape. I felt only slightly dirty but not fully for some reason. Why wasn't I mad? Should I be? Do I still have feelings for him? Damn these teenage hormones!

/*&^* (?,)

**_Sirius looked at Severus's naked body hungrily while the other boy pleaded to be let go even though he knew it was hopeless. Sirius bent over the slytherin's body and nibbled on his throat causing the other boy to yelp in surprise._**

**_"You know Sevy, if you weren't so delicate and a virgin, I'd take your body and fuck you dry…" he whispered into Snape's ear._**

**_"Sirius please don't do this to me..." Severus started to cry._**

**_"Sh…hush_ _Severus…I promise I'll be as gentle as possible…" Sirius leaned down and kissed away Severus's tears. For some reason, it comforted him a little. Very slowly, Sirius grabbed his cock and slowly slid it into the slytherin._**

**_ "Sirius, please…" Severus looked up into Sirius's misty black eyes. "I-it hurts…"_**

**_"I know sweetheart…it gets better…" Sirius moved in a little more than he already had, making the boy underneath him cry out in more pain. "You're so damn tight Sevy." Snape gasped. "Tell me when to move…"_**

**_Severus bit his lip. When he had finally gotten used to Sirius's large size, he nodded. Sirius went slowly at first then began to get faster and faster. After a few more minutes he began to thrust. Severus screamed and moaned in pain, but slowly by every minute and every thrust it lessened. He started to feel pleasure, and Sirius noticed it by his voice. The screaming stopped and instead they were quieter, and quieter. Instead he heard loud moans. Severus panted hard and held the younger boy's gaze._**

**_"Ah…ah…Sirius!" whimpered Severus as he came._**

**_"I'm so sorry for this love…" Sirius bit down Severus's delicate neck. Severus saw that the other boy was smiling slightly. It wasn't a smirk or anything…it just looked as if he was truly sorry he was doing this…_**

**_"Severus! Severus!"_**

"Huh?" I had just snapped out of my sleep by Lily's voice.

"Severus…" she looked worried. "Are you okay? You were talking in your sleep."

"So?" was what I said on the outside, but on the inside I was thinking, 'Holy crud, she knows!'

"You kept saying, 'Sirius please don't do this to me' and 'Sirius, please…it hurts…'"

'Oh crap! She knows!' I silently waited for her to say something because I knew that if I say something now, she might have been thinking the opposite of what I was saying.

"Are those guys _still_ bothering you Severus?" she frowned. "I swear, those guys are nothing but jerks to you! Well, except maybe Remus because he secretly li…" she slapped her hands over her mouth.

"…" I just looked at her. Girls, I swear…

*****_ One week later _*****

Being home was incredibly boring since Lily and her family were going to be gone to Sweden for the summer. I had been invited to go, but for some reason I wanted to stay home. Was it just fate or was I just looking for peace and quiet? Either way, I was content. Ever since my parents divorced and we moved out of the house, things have been going smoothly. My mother had gotten tired of my dad abusing us and left him, even though this made me question my mother's choice of not using magic to set dad straight in the first place.

"Severus, I'm going to our new neighbor's house and I want you to come with me." I looked at my mother with some suspicion.

Ever since I had met Lily, my mother went along with the idea of me having a new friend up until I was thirteen and started disapproving. She kept saying I should hang out with the likes of her and to find someone else to be friends with. When I had finally asked her what made her say this after she said nothing against it for almost 2 years, she responded that I was too deep in the friendzone and when I finally started to like her as more than a friend, she would break my heart and leave our friendship behind for a jackass. I suspected that the new neighbor's kid would be a solution to rid her of Lily.

"Why should I come?" I asked her knowingly.

"Because our new neighbor has a son your age…"

"Not this again…" I groaned burying my head into a pillow.

"Oh come on sweety!" she placed a hand on my shoulder. "It'll be good for you to get out the house this summer…"

"No."

"Please? For me Severus?"

I sighed "Fine."

When we arrived at the house, I was impressed. The house was just a bit nicer and larger than ours. It looked kind of fancy but affordable. Soon a woman whose face looked a bit familiar appeared at the door.

"Hi! It's nice to see you again Eileen!" she looked at me. "And who is this?"

"This is my son, Severus."

"Small world! I have a son around your age." she was speaking directly to me this time. She turned slightly into the house. "Remus, can you come down for a second?"

No wonder I reckoned her face! She was Remus's mother! Sure enough Remus had come down from upstairs.

"Hey Severus…"

"Hm." I responded back. What was the purpose in all this?

"Well we'll leave you two boys alone to play for a minute, hm?" Mrs. Lupin patted Remus's head and then she and mom went inside.

'What now?' I wondered looking at Lupin.

"Um…so how's it going?" he finally said breaking the awkward silence.

"Fine I guess…"

There was nothing more awkward then standing there with one of your enemy's friends. After a while Remus starting talking about different things, some of them drew my attention after a while. Surprisingly, both of us had lots of things in common. Why he hangs out with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew, I'll never know.

"I never thought anyone would find someone who would be as interested in Unicorns as I am and not find them girly." we were both sitting on a river bank with our feet dangling into the cool water while eating popsicles.

"They are very fascinating creatures." I noticed that his hand was extremely close to mine, not that I cared.

"I know, but all my friends care about is girls…" Remus rolled his eyes. "I can't really have any intelligible conversation with that bunch. All James talks about is Lily Evans and the others just flirt with girls…"

I couldn't help but wonder if Lupin flirted at all. He had always been the quiet one in the group and somewhat hung back when the others were with girls around them. After a few more moments of silence, Remus spoke up.

"Not that it's any of my business…but have you ever had a girlfriend before?"

"No…if you're anything like my mother, no, Lily and I have never dated and never will."

"Oh." he sounded somewhat relieved for some reason.

*****_A two weeks later_***** (**Third person POV**)

After a while, Remus and Severus had gotten closer over the holidays and had even become close friends. Little did Severus know, Remus had developed a crush on the other boy and wanted to express his feelings for him, but couldn't find the heart to. There had been a few close calls when he had started to tell Severus that he had a crush on him, but something always popped up. Remus had even doubted that Severus was even gay, but he knew that he only had one more chance to tell him.

"Aren't the stars beautiful tonight?" Snape was lying down on the grass on a blanket with Lupin beside him. The two boys had decided to camp out for the night next to the river bank.

"Yeah…they are…" Remus wasn't looking at the stars.

"It's really nice out here…so cool, ya know…" Severus closed his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Remus went over what he was going to say to his friend and reached for the slytherin's hand. "Severus…"

"Hm?" He didn't open his eyes.

"I-I really like spending time with you…" Remus blushed and waited for the other boy's response.

"I like spending time with you too Remus…"

"I mean we have so much in common and you're not like the others…" he swallowed. "What I'm trying to say is…I really like you…"

"I like you too Remus…" Snape opened his eyes and smiled at him.

"I mean…more than just friends…" Remus moved a little closer until their noses touched.

"I know…" Severus blushed back.

Moving slowly, the two boys pressed their lips together. Remus ran his fingers through Severus's long black hair while the other boy played with Remus's shirt. When Remus broke the kiss, he looked over Severus's body. Despite what the others thought, he found Severus beautiful and almost god-like.

"Let me inside of you Severus…" Remus whispered into his ear.

"Huh?" Severus blushed, not understanding at all.

"Let me inside of your heart and soul…I want to you to belong to me and no one else…" blushing a cute pink color, Severus nodded.

"I want to belong to me also…" he buried his head into Lupin's chest.

He pinned Severus back against the blanket, kissing him gently, then desperately, licking and sucking and whimpering, his affections utterly mirrored. Severus' hands hurried to the edge of his shirt and pulled it over the werewolf's head. Remus smiled as he returned the favor. He lifted Severus' chin and ran his mouth along the skin beneath it.

"I promise to always love you even if I'm old and wrinkly or dead. Promise you'll always love me…"

"I…I promise…" Severus breathed. He heard, felt the zipper of his trousers slide down. His jaw went ever so slightly slack, and as air tickled the hairs on his legs he tipped his head back against the soft blanket and imagined that he'd truly felt the touch of a god. His brain bobbed gently in a surge of power and endorphins. He kneaded the flesh at Severus' hips with his thumbs. The silver silk of his shorts slid smoothly over small circles of skin. Severus whimpered softly, low in his throat. He kicked off his shoes and starting taking off Remus's pants. As soon as they were both naked, Remus sent a trail of kisses on Severus's shoulders and then looked into his now lover's eyes.

"Are you ready Severus? If you're not ready we can stop."

"I am."

Remus stuck his fingers inside of his mouth and licked them until he thought they were wet enough. Looking straight into Severus's eyes, he placed a finger on Severus's entrance. "This is going to hurt a bit…"

The other boy squirmed and whimpered when he felt the finger inside of him begin to move around. It did hurt, but now too much. He bit his lip when the werewolf inserted another finger, bitting it a bit harder when the fingers began to make scissoring motions. He glanced at Remus's erection, but turned his eyes to stare at the man's chest instead when he saw how big it was.

Sticking in a third finger, Remus began to slid all three in and out of the slytherin at a moderate pace, wondering how the heat would feel around him.

The teen gasped again and swallowed, whimpering pitifully when the fingers left him. Spitting on his hand, Lupin coated his large erection and grabbed Severus's pale legs, hoisting them over his shoulders. "This is really going to hurt," he said as he hands grasped the teen's hips firmly, planting a heated kiss on his lips as he pushed inside.

Severus gasped in both pleasure and pain. Remus was a whole lot bigger than Sirius, so it felt like he was being ripped in half. He knew that Remus wasn't going to move any time soon unless he had gotten used to it. Once he had gotten used to it, he nodded. Remus slowly thrusting his hips in and out while gazing deeply into his lovers dark mysterious eyes.

"Remus…" Severus whimpered as he buried his face into Remus's chest.

"Hm…am I hurting you?" Remus asked concerned.

"N-no…keep going…"

"Severus…." Remus moaned picking up his pace, thrusting harder and faster into his lover who began panting with excitement.

"Harder…" Severus moaned feeling Remus thrust into him harder and faster each time.

"Oh god, Sev…." Remus moaned into his lover's neck his hips moving faster and faster, a clenching around the base of his penis told him he was getting close.

"Sev I'm gonna cum" he moaned loudly and with one final thrust spilled his seed inside his lover.

"Remus…" Severus cried as he came.

After pulling out of his lover, Remus lay on top of him for a few more minutes before picking up Severus and laying him inside of the tent before retrieving their clothes. As he looked over the other boy, he was glad that he choice to tell him how he felt.

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Sorry it took forever to write this crap. I think its crap anyways…I've been so busy lately that I forgot to get "in the zone" when I wrote this. I know what most of you are thinking already. Why does it seem like Remus x Severus instead of Sirius x Severus? Why isn't Severus pregnant yet? To answer your first question, the summary says (word for word)…

"Severus is in love with Sirius, but that love disappears when Sirius rapes him. What will he do now that he's pregnant with his child and a certain werewolf is in love with him? Main pairing: Sirius x Severus. Minor pairings: Severus x Remus, James x Remus, James x Lily, Voldemort x Severus. Story ranges from marauders' time period to afterwards."

It means that Severus x Remus is a minor pairing and not as important as Sirius x Severus. To answer your second question, Severus _is_ pregnant he just doesn't know yet. He will in the next chapter. Thanks for reading this sorry excuse for a chapter. The next chapter won't be so crappy, but I'm glad you all enjoyed the first one.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews on this story even though it has been awhile. Here is the new updated chapter of this story.

Severus gasped in pain as he doubled over and threw up more blood. Mrs. Snape grabbed her son's arm. This was bad…really bad. Severus had just been fine a few hours ago and then he fainted and started breathing heavily. Eileen had never been so scared in her life. The real terror came when he went pale and threw up so much blood that it looked as if there had been a massacre there. She had known that Severus was having stomach pains and cramps, but she didn't know that it was this bad!

Severus whimpered as Remus held him on his right side and squeezed his shoulder. "It's okay Severus…I gotcha…"

Severus whimpered a little and fainted. A few hours later, he woke up in a hospital bed. Only Remus was in the room, squeezing his boyfriend's hand. The werewolf was relieved when Snape woke up and nearly strangled the boy trying to hug him.

"Sev! I'm so glad that you're ok! I…I thought I lost you!" Remus blushed.

"I'm fine…just…stop…hugging…me!" Severus grunted with annoyance ringing in his voice.

"Oh sorry!" He let go. "Me and your mom were so worried! Are you feeling better?"

"I feel as good as death feels about now." Severus mumbled rubbing his forehead.

"Don't say that!"

Severus sighed. "What did the doctor say?"

"I don't know yet." Remus looked out of the window. "All I know is that when they took your blood out, it was…well…purple looking with a bit of blue mixed in it. It looks pretty bad…but don't worry! I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious!"

"You don't sound convinced." Severus frowned. "Man, I haven't felt this sick in ever! Ugh…can you get me some water? My throat feels dry."

Remus nodded and left, although reluctantly and hesitantly. While waiting for his boyfriend to get back, Severus took the moment to rest a little more and think about things. What was happening to his body? One day he was feeling fine and the next he was feeling like he was going to die! This couldn't be happening. True, he had been sick for the past few days, but it never seemed to be anything serious up until now.

Mrs. Snape and a doctor followed in soon after, with his mother looking more tired, frustrated, and confused than when they had lived with his father. Mrs. Snape quietly sat down beside her son and began to stroke his hand. Severus looked worriedly at his mother. She never stroked his hand in this manner unless she was going to tell him some big news.

"Severus…honey…" she had tears running down her cheeks. "There is something we have to tell you."

"I'm not going to die, am I?" said the young man fearfully. He had thrown up a lot of blood at the house.

"No…no…" she tried to smile. "Severus…you're going to be a mother."

"W-what?" he stared wide eyed at his mother.

"It's true Severus." said the doctor. "You have a beautiful miracle growing inside of you this very moment…even sooner than a normal pregnancy!"

"B-but how? I'm a boy! Last time I checked, men can't have babies!"

"Yes about that…" the doctor pushed up her glasses. "You see you took an old outdated potion that was dangerous for you to take. My theory is that it was accidental…"

"FOR ME!" said Severus outraged. "How can I be pregnant?"

"Let the doctor explain, sweetheart." Mrs. Snape said stroking his cheek trying to calm him down.

"You see the potion you took was an outdated potion, as I have said before. It is called foetus implantaat. This is Dutch for fetus implant which means that a fetus was implanted into your body by means of a potion. All the father had to do was empty his sperm inside of you and be done with it."

"I never took any potion." said Severus defending himself.

"Well someone had a chance of slipping it into your food or drink. Why? I don't know."

Severus couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. Why would anyone slip something like that into his food? Remus couldn't have done it He wasn't the type to nor did he have the materials or experience. That only left one more person left…Sirius…but wait…why would the other male want him pregnant? It didn't make much sense, now did it?

"It had to be while you were at school." explained the doctor.

"Well I know that." Severus snapped.

"Severus, she's just trying to help." Eileen patted her son's hand.

"I don't care!" Severus looked away, trying not to lash out at his mother. "This can't be happening…"

"Is that all doctor?" asked Eileen trying to comfort her son.

"Not really…there is a problem with how much blood he is going to lose." explained the doctor.

"What?" Eileen stared wide eyed at the doctor. "What do you mean?"

"The potion is in its early stages which is why it is the way it is colored. When it turns a dark purple color, it will mean that the baby is ready for delivery."

"But what about the blood? What does that mean?" Mrs. Snape started to bit her lip.

"Oh that…" she sighed. "That's the only part you really have to worry about. The potion was discontinued for a reason. People have been showing signs of fatigue, blurry vision, internal bleeding, coughing up extreme amounts of blood, and other symptoms. He will either bleed out during birth and die…"

"WHAT?!" Eileen hugged her son tightly.

"…or he will be incredibly weak afterwards and it will take time to recuperate from the birth…"

"Well can it be cured?"

"Yes it can be…but I fear the potion has been working its magic on his body, but strangely he doesn't seem as bad as the others. With the medicine, he will be able to have a better birthing session."

"Will he still bleed out?"

"Not with the medicine."

Severus bit his lip. All of this new information was scaring him. If giving birth was as painful as people made it out to be, then this would be much worse and harder than the average ones! He looked worriedly at the doctor.

"W-will it hurt?" he asked.

"We'll try and make it go as smoothly as possible." said the doctor. "You may be in school though, but we'll make sure to help you as much as possible when you give birth."

"Ok…" Severus looked up as Remus came in with his water.

"Sorry it took so long, Severus." Remus smiled. "They had a lot of people up there looking for somebody named Dr. Gregorson."

"Oh that's me!" the doctor quickly stepped out of the room.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while. I forgot I left a casserole in the oven…" Mrs. Snape kissed her only son and left.

"So, what did the doctor say?" asked Remus. Severus sighed. He had to tell him. Not telling him now would result in more disaster later on down the road.

"Yeah…" he grabbed Remus's hand and held it. "There's something I need to tell you and I'm not sure how you're going to take it…" he played with his fingers for a second. "I'm really sick because I'm…I'm…"

"What?" Remus hugged him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "It's okay. Let it all out, love."

"I'm pregnant…" Severus shut his eyes. A long moment of silence followed, making Severus wish he hadn't said anything.

"Really? Is that all? You're not dying are you?" Severus looked into Remus's dark brown eyes.

"You're not mad?" he asked shock.

"Why would I be?" Remus kissed Severus on the lips once more. "I want to be there for the baby and you when it's born because I love you Severus." He placed a hand on his lover's tiny belly and rubbed it.

"I…I love you too, Remus…" Severus started crying, but he wasn't crying over the hormones. He was crying over the fact that Remus wasn't the father and in a few months or more, the best thing he ever had would leave him because the baby wasn't his. "Promise you'll never leave me…"

"I promise, love…"

Severus smiled and snuggled up in his boyfriend's arms. 'Well at least I can enjoy him while I have him...'

====September====

Severus sighed as he paid for his school clothes. He was getting bigger and bigger each passing day and it was bothering him. Remus was his special person and he wanted to be with him forever. Why was this happening to him? Why couldn't the small thing growing inside of him each passing day be Remus's?

"Are you okay, Sev? You look a bit pale."

"It's just the medicine Remus…I-I'm fine…perfectly fine. I think I just need to be alone right now..." he walked from Remus.

"Severus...I…" before Remus could get it out of his mouth, someone called his name.

Severus quickly turned the corner and lost sight of Lupin. Why was all of this so hard? Remus cared, but Severus couldn't shake off the fact that his boyfriend was going to leave him as soon as the day the baby was born after finding out it wasn't his…

'I have to stop doing that…running away from my own problems…he cares, but I'm a train wreck.' Severus wiped away tears from his eyes as he walked through the busy street. 'Stupid pregnancy hormones! Damn stupid Sirius! I hate that dumb fucker for making me like this!'

Severus stopped walking as his stomach growled. 'I just ate…oh well…it wouldn't hurt to eat some more…I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.'

After getting some food into his stomach (and his baby's), he decided to go locate Remus. Just as he had thought about it, he saw him standing in front of Honey Dukes with James, Peter, and Sirius.

"Well he's busy with his friends now." sighing, the pregnant teenager went off to the book shop to go buy some more school books.

"Good afternoon Mr. Snape. How are you doing today?" asked the book store manager.

"Fine." Severus noticed that he was looking at his belly and turned his back to him. "Do you know where I can find my books for Hogwarts?"

"Oh yes…we just got more in today." he looked over the list. "I have to go help another customer, but I'm pretty sure Marvolo can get you what you need." he turned around and called out, "Marvolo, come here for a minute!"

An exceedingly handsome boy with jet black hair and deep, black eyes that stood out prominently on his pale skin came over. He looked at Severus and smiled. "Hi."

"Hey…"

"Could you help him find the books that he needs for his sixth year?"

"Yeah sure." he turned back to Severus. "I'm Thomas by the way."

"I'm Severus…"

"Nice name for such a pretty boy…" Thomas smiled.

"Um…I need these books." Severus said handing him the list.

"So you're starting your sixth year, huh?" Thomas said as he began handing Severus his books.

"Yeah. I'm really looking forward to it."

"So am I."

"You're starting your sixth year too?" Severus looked surprised. He had never seen the boy around school before.

"Yeah, I used to go to Durmstrang Institute, but my parents thought I wasn't learning enough there, so I'm studying here…that and because of you-know-who…" Thomas said noticing Severus curious look.

"Well thanks for the books Thomas. See you around…I guess…"

"I hope to see you as well my dear." Thomas kissed Severus's hand.

Blushing, Severus hurried out of the shop as fast as he could. That was weird. Severus thought back to the way his voice sounded like an angel from heaven. Shaking his head, he went off to once again find Remus, in hopes that the latter was alone this time.

"Severus, I've been looking all over for you!" Remus hurried over to the younger boy. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It was just…you know…pregnancy stuff…I got your books by the way." Severus handed Remus his books.

"Thanks." Remus looked at his boyfriend with concern. Severus was a little bit shakier and a bit more absent minded ever since he found out about the pregnancy. He also always looked as if he had a huge secret that someone might find out. Every time he tried to bring it up, Severus would either get upset or just blame it on the hormones.

Severus on the other hand feared that Remus was getting a little more suspicious about his attitude. No matter how hard he tried to pretend like there was nothing wrong, he would always mess it up and Remus would try and drag it out of him, with no success. Maybe things would get a little bit better when the school term started in.

When the term had started, Severus was nervous. Hiding how big he was getting wouldn't be too hard because of the bigger clothes he had gotten nor would the nausea and vomiting be a problem either…it was the telling Sirius, dealing with Remus not being the father, and the labor that was the problem.

His mother waved goodbye to him as he was heading to the train with Remus. The slytherin sighed as he sat down in a compartment and waited for the train to move so he could get to school faster. Maybe the feast would get his mind off of things for a moment or two before dealing with the year ahead. Maybe Lily could help him sort things out…no…that seemed unnecessary. Lily was his friend, but somehow he didn't feel the need to tell her now. He had just gotten over the fact that the baby was going to be his.

When they had gotten to Hogwarts, Severus decided to go right up to his dorm room and unpack his stuff instead of going to the feast. Somehow he didn't feel hungry anymore. He couldn't decide if it was seeing Sirius and Remus sitting together or all the noise (noise had been getting on his nerves lately). Either way, he just couldn't handle being in a crowd right now. Severus sighed as he fell asleep. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.


	4. Chapter 4

Um…apparently people are wondering how I'm going to fit Lord Voldemort into this, Harry, and stuff like that. I will, I will, just wait a bit. Otherwise be very patient. Anyway, the Marauders' time period is just about to be over. This is going to be a very long chapter since I haven't worked on this story in quite some time.

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2 WEEKS LATER

I sighed with relief as I reached Slughorn's class. I could now relax my feet and sleep away since he was just going over notes, which I already had. These two weeks had been horrible on me. School work was okay, but my nausea was returning, but luckily not during classes, just between. Not too long before, I had been barfing my brains out. The medicine seemed to only cure me long enough for me to get into class and during class. I was on my own for the rest of the day.

After class, I decided to head the dorm room and get some rest, but sadly I wasn't watching where I was going and bumped into Sirius and had to throw up…badly…shit.

"Watch where you're going, grease ball." I tried to cover my mouth, but threw up all over him. As much as I hated the little shit, it was an accident. "You mother fucker! What the fuck did you that for?!"

"Fuck you asshole!" I growled back. "I'm already…"

Feeling like I was going to barf again, I quickly ran off and went into the bathroom to go throw up. Why did I have to throw up in front of him of all people? Oh well…what did it matter? After all, this was somewhat getting back at him for impregnating me in the first place.

At dinner time, I was feeling much better. My nausea had gone away, so now I was ready to take a nice shower and then a nap. After the way my feet have been feeling, I deserved a little time off of my feet. Before I could go relax, I heard someone call my name. It was none other than Black's younger brother, Regulus.

"Oh hey Regulus. Did you want something?" Regulus was probably the only person to not really getting on my nerves at Hogwarts. Possibly, he was the only person I could stand.

"Um…" He was looking at his hands. "Oh right! That Thomas guy wanted me to tell you to meet him at the Astronomy Tower after dinner tonight."

"Okay. Tell him I'll be there." I answered. I suddenly noticed the way Regulus was sort of looking at me in an odd way. "Did you want something else, Regulus?"

"Huh?" he blushed. "S-sorry…I was just thinking about something…" He turned his head. "Uh I'd better go now. Bye Severus!"

"Bye." as the younger boy ran off, I couldn't help but to wonder what Thomas would want with me. We had been hanging out for the last few weeks and had become close friends.

After dinner time, I went back to my room and showered since I decided I was too tired to shower earlier. The showers were empty, save for me, at this late hour of the night. I kinda preferred it this way. Besides Regulus, Thomas, and on occasion Remus when we were alone, being alone was best compared to be stuck around all the idiots in Hogwarts. After changing into my clothes, I paused to look at my reflection in the steamed mirror. Sometimes I wondered why Remus even found me attractive. My hair never looked the way I wanted it to and sometimes I felt like nobody, except maybe my mom sometimes, wanted me.

Sighing I slipped out of the showers, dropped off my things, and continued downstairs to the astronomy tower. I wondered once again why Thomas would want me up there with him. Whatever it is, I sure hope it's important. Being pregnant was already hard enough. I didn't have all the energy I used to have. It took me less than fifteen minutes to reach the topmost of the towers. The night air was kind of cool, but not so cool that I needed a jacket. Looking up, clouds were blowing in from the coast, and every now and then obliterated the view of the moon. A quick blow of the wind made me shiver. Where was Thomas anyway?

I looked over the edge. The hard ground was some 13 stories down, and a sure death if I fell. I had never thought about suicide. Even though I had a shitty life and had been molested when I was younger, I never wanted to kill myself. It just was just imaging how a body would react to that sort of impact. I wonder how much pain someone would go through if they fell. Suddenly, a faint smell reached my nose. That smell…where had I smelled it before?

"Jump…do us all a favor..." came the taunting words.

I felt my face turn pale when I recognized both the scent and the voice immediately…alcohol…and Sirius Black. I bit my lip as I turned around. This was bad…very bad…if this was anything like last time…shit. Wait…why was he here? Did he know I was going to be here or did he just come here to drink? Whatever it was, I was in trouble. Why the hell did I leave my wand? I've never done that before!

As if excepting me to pull out my wand, which I didn't even have now like an idiot, he grabbed my right wrist and brought it around behind my back, pressing it against it, then shoved me forward to the waist high battlement of the tower. I gasped at the sudden movement. What was he trying to do? Break my back? Wait! My baby! What did the impact do to it? Didn't he realize he was hurting his own child? Of course not! I hadn't told him! I continued to wince as Sirius continued to twist my arm painfully until tears were leaking out of my eyes. Sirius's other arm was gripped around my waist, holding me.

"Let...go...of...me... you...Mudblood... thug!" I hissed between angry pants as Sirius continued to hold me against the wall. It hurt like hell in this position and my baby…this couldn't be good for him or her either…he only held on tighter, his laughter soft, near my right ear.

"Struggling are you? What are you afraid of Severus?" he whispered tauntingly, still holding me tightly.

"Certainly not you!" I spat back, trying to break the painful grip he was being held in. I stopped when I felt Black lean forward further, pressing me tighter against the side of the edging wall and the hard tension grinding into my backside was unmistakable. I felt the tears come faster as he continued this motion, all the time with me thinking of how it may be affecting my baby.

"You smell nice Snape..." he said in a low growl, pressing in until the tip of his cold nose touched my neck. "Do you know I have an extremely keen sense of smell?"

A hot wet sensation was touching the side of my neck, and before I knew it a small moan had escaped my lips as Sirius slowly traced his tongue up and down the skin of my neck. "I can smell fear…I can smell...sex..." Sirius purred softly.

"S-stop…" I whimpered. "P-please…no…not again…please…"

I heard him chuckle softly. I shivered as Sirius thrust his hips forward, pressing the hardness under his robes into my backside, and let a growl escape as the lick became a soft bite. He dropped his hand from clutching my waist, and traveled downwards until he reached my groin and began rubbing it until I became hard. A chuckle rumbled deep in his throat as he finally let go of my now numb left arm, letting it fall uselessly to my side. He then grabbed my around the waist with that arm now, and the right hand slithered in the front opening of my pants, jerked boxers aside and gripped the tense, moist shaft he found there.

A stifled cry emerged from my lips, and I felt my hips thrust forwards as the other boy began moving his hand roughly along my shaft.

"Like that do you, you slut?" Sirius muttered whispered in my ear. I nodded blindly, with my eyes shut tightly. It was no use to struggle anyway…I had my baby to think about. If I fought back like I did earlier, I might end up with a stillborn…if that hasn't already happened. Sirius thrust his hips forward again, letting me feel his hard erection. I gripped onto the wall in front of me to keep from hurting my baby and from getting more bruises.

"S-sirius…please…stop…I don't want to…" I groaned as he bit into my neck and continued to stroke me as he continued to press his cock into my backside. Suddenly I felt his hands leave my cock and him step back. I stared with wide eyes as Sirius took off his robes, exposing his cock. I wanted to run away as fast as possible, but I knew that he had his wand, which was a disadvantage for me.

"Take off your clothes…" he growled.

"…" I blushed. "N-no…"

"Fine then…" he slammed my head against the wall making me go into a small coma like state. When I had awaken, I woke up to him running his fingers over my baby bump. I tried to swat away his hand, but he slapped me across the face. I just laid there not even bothering. I just didn't care anymore. That blow to the head had me a bit disoriented still.

"Hm…the potion did work…" My eyes widened.

"W-what? You knew?" I felt angry. He knew I was pregnant…I wanted to strangle him or at least beat the crap out of him.

"Of course I knew…" he smirked as he continued to rub my belly. "Who else would want you?"

"You bastard…" Sirius slammed me back against the wall in a heartbeat. "I'd be careful if I were you…I'd hate for you to have a dead child on your hands."

"You are a sick person." I growled, despite the pain. "I swear…"

I gasped as wet fingers penetrated my ass. I cried out as Sirius' long fingers pushed into me, and probed around eagerly. Sirius rotated his wrist, around and around loosening my hole. "Sirius..." I whimpered, tears streaming down my face, and seconds later, I felt the fingers leave me, much to my relief. I heard Sirius mutter something that sounded like "Lubricus", then I felt something slick fill my insides.

I gasped as Sirius's cock's head pressed into me. "Breathe..." Sirius growled into my ear. As I inhaled and started to let out a shuddering breath, Sirius thrust into me.

I cried out as the head of Sirius's cock popped inside of me, and the older boy thrust again, forcing more of his thickness inside of me.

"Sirius! God! Oh God! It hurts... It hurts..." he moaned. His only reply was to slowly withdraw, and thrust again, driving him deeper into my tightness.

"Ah yes... So good... fuck...so tight…" he moaned near my ear.

Both sweat and tears mixed mingled together as I felt Sirius withdraw and thrust again until this time his cock penetrated fully and his tense balls slapped my backside.

"Fuck yes..." he moaned as he gripped my waist with his left arm and his right covered my cock and began jerking me off furiously as he pumped himself in and out of my sore ass. I gasped with each of Sirius' deep thrusts. Whimpering, I tried concentrating on the hand pumping my cock.

"I wanna feel you cum!" he commanded me as he continued his savage thrusts.

"Uh...Oh...Sirius..." I moaned as my cum spurted forth over Sirius' hand and splattered on the wall in front of us. "God... Oh God..." I moaned aloud, lost in the delicious bliss of the orgasm.

I moaned as he bite my neck and gripped my hips as his hips spasmed, and he pumped his load into once more. Sirius was thrusting so hard with his final thrusts, he lifted me onto his toes with each of the last of his thrusts. "Yes...take it... Yes... Fuck yes!" he muttered near my ear until he was finished, and his thrusts slowed.

Sirius leaned his head forward, resting it between my shoulder blades as he panted wildly, heart pounding in my ears. For long moments we stood that way until reality returned. Sirius leaned back, pulling out of my body, causing me to wince with pain. Sirius staggered back, hand on his soaked forehead, and brushed his long hair back out of his eyes as he leaned against the stairwell wall. I feel to my knees and threw up, before lying down, tired and sore. I began sobbing uncontrollably…why did this happen to me? Why did Sirius want to hurt me so badly?

I suddenly felt a hand touch my shoulder. Thinking it was Sirius, I slapped him across the face with all of the energy I had left, which wasn't much. That didn't seem to stop him since he just grabbed me and pressed me against his body.

"Get off of me, you rapist!" I screamed, with tears pouring down my eyes. "Haven't you done enough?"

"Severus…calm down…" whispered a gentle voice. That voice…

"T-thomas?" my eyes widened. "I-I…I didn't mean to…"

I never finished as I burst into tears. Thomas held me tightly and rubbed my back, all the while telling me it was going to be okay. I was somewhat amazed that he let me cry on his shoulder, but I really couldn't care less. It was good to have a friend right about now.

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Review and favorite please!


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews everyone!

When I had stopped crying, I felt Thomas wrap something around my shoulders. It was his cloak. I did nothing as he wiped away my tears and told me everything was going to be alright. I wasn't sure though. My life was a mess. Sirius had planned my pregnancy when I hadn't and had brutally raped and abused me. All the while, I wondered about my baby. Was it okay? Had Sirius hurt it any? I feared for my child. I sat there nervously as I felt Thomas lay me down and start to unwrap the cloak from my body. I quickly pulled it closer to my body, not wanting him to touch me.

"Severus…stop it…" he grabbed my wrists. "Let me look over the damages…I am not going to hurt you…"

"No!" I gripped it tighter. "Please…no!" I didn't want him to see me.

"Severus…" he kissed my forehead to comfort me. I bit my lip and let him uncover my body. "Don't worry. I will be gentle."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I shivered as he ran his warm fingers over my arms and then my belly. "Please…no…"

"Severus…" he rubbed my belly. "Let me examine you so that we can see how your baby is doing."

"How did you know about the baby?" I asked weakly. "…did you come up when…"

"I'm sorry…" he waved his wand over my bruises and the soreness disappeared. "I knew that if I interfered, he would hurt you even more. Black is a very dangerous, badly tempered person. I couldn't risk him hurting you any more than he already had."

I sighed knowing what he meant. He was right and I didn't blame him. After using a cleaning and healing spell on me, I felt his ear touch my stomach. I tensed up a bit because of the pain, but soon was able to breathe. After a while I felt a tiny jump in my stomach. Afterwards he gathered my clothes and helped me put them on. "Your baby seems okay and its heartbeat is there. You should head to Nurse Promfrey's office tomorrow. Can you walk?"

"I think I can walk." I got up shaking a little. "C-could you help me to my room?"

He looked unsure for a moment, but then sighed. When we had gotten outside of my room, he asked me if I was okay. I just nodded, not sure what else to say besides thank you. I slipped inside and lay in the bed, wondering why my life was so hard. Had I really done anything to deserve this? I had always done my best to be the very best I could be but…I couldn't really understand. Why had Severus done what he had done? Getting me pregnant was one thing, but turning around and revealing to me that he knew I was going to have a baby and then hurting me at the same time as he was raping me was another thing. Did he not care about our unborn child at all? No matter how much I thought about it, my answers were not going to be answered…

The next morning, I went to Nurse Promfrey so she could see how my baby was doing. Much to my relief, my baby was perfectly fine. I was relieved that it was going to be okay. She even revealed to me that the baby was going to be a healthy baby girl and had given me sonograms giving me a good look at my baby. It was kind of amazing that I was going to be soon holding my baby girl. As I walked out, I saw Regulus sitting on the floor.

"Regulus? What are you doing here?" He hopped up and hugged me, almost knocking me over.

"Severus! I'm so…so sorry! I didn't mean it!" I stared at him uncomfortably, trying to push him off of me as everyone who walked by stared at us. "Please forgive me! I wasn't myself last night!"

"Regulus, let go!" I growled, having no clue what he was talking about. "People are staring!"

The younger boy paid me no mind. "Please don't be mad at my brother! It wasn't him! I swear!"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME GO!" I continued to try to shove him off of me. I felt my cheeks turn red as, just my fucking luck, Potter and his friends were part of the people who were now looking along with Lily.

"I'm begging you! Please forgive me!"

"FINE! I FORGIVE YOU! JUST LET GO BEFORE I HEX YOU TO DEATH, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"OH THANK YOU!" He hugged me even tighter. "I'll repay back for your kindness, I promise!"

YES IT DID! Why? I quickly ran back into my dorm room and hid under the bed. Why did these things happen to me? Was Regulus crazy or something? That bastard had no right to do that, especially in public! If it had been in private, I would be less mad, but no, it had to be in public where everyone could see and mock me forever.

It was bad enough that Remus, Sirius, and Thomas saw it (Wait, what did Remus think?), but most of Hogwarts and my house. If this spread, which it would, I prayed I could be able to get the fuck out of this school and maybe even be homeschooled or something! I worried about what Remus would say about it. Would he ask if I was unfaithful to him? I hadn't been! What was Regulus yapping about anyway? Something about it not being Sirius's fault…did he tell Sirius where I was going? I had to ask him.

A weeks passed by and still no sign of Regulus. Either he was avoiding me or I was just looking in the wrong places…oh well. Remus, thank goodness, had not spoken a word about that scene between Black's brother and I, but Potter made fun of me every moment he got, while Thomas seemed almost jealous…was he? He had shown a little interest in me since we first met and flirted with me often, but it was nothing serious.

I worried about him sometimes. He seemed distant whenever we were together and had a mean look in his eyes whenever I brought up someone or talked to them. He seemed to dislike Lily and Remus the most. As a matter of fact, when Lily asked me to go study with her, Thomas looked at her in a very dark and sort of scary way until she took a hint and left. His jealousy was getting on my nerves, but I didn't have the heart to say anything. There was something about him that made me not want to bring up the matter or make him mad. The only times I dared to anger him were the times when we were alone and when we were, he would ask me who the father of my child was. I never told him and often stayed quiet, brought up something else, or made an excuse and leave. I hated to make him upset, but I had no choice.

As we were about to head to Hogsmeade, Thomas pulled me over to the side, away from the others. "Severus I need to tell you something when we get back…it's very important."

"Um…okay…" I answered. "Where do you want to meet at?"

"Met me next to the Forbidden forest." that was all he said before he walked off quickly.

I just shook my head and caught up with Lily.

"What did **_he _**want?" she said with bitterness in her voice.

"Why do you have to say it like that?" I said surprised. Just a few weeks ago she had spoken of him with kindness in her voice and would often annoy me with questions about him like what was his favorite color, what kind of girl did he like, did he even mention her, did he have a girlfriend, and other girly crap. It was kind of confusing to hear her sound angry now.

"Severus, that guy is nothing but trouble!" she lowered her voice. "I heard he wants to work for…you-know-who… when he gets out of Hogwarts! And he's not that secretive about it either. I saw him using a killing curse once and it almost knocked someone's head clean off!"

"He what?" Thomas didn't seem like the kind to use something like that. He always seemed calmer and more collective than all of us Slytherins combined. I had never heard him talk about the dark arts like the rest of had, not even when we were together. "Uh…did you hear why he used the spell?"

"Well…" she looked around us just in case someone was listening. "I was about to ask him out, you know…on a date. I saw him walking down one of the halls, so I followed. Then he met up with some guys from your hall. I figured it was a bad time to just walk up and ask him in front of all of his friends. Just when I turned around, I heard yelling. It kind of scared me at first so I didn't look. I guess my curiosity got the best of me because I looked. He looked so mad it was scary. I couldn't really tell you what he said, but it had something to do with Professor Slughorn and a bit about Professor Dumbledore…"

"What else besides that?"

"He slapped Goyle across the face when he said he couldn't do it. I don't know what he couldn't do, but everyone else just got yelled at." Lily paused for a moment. "Then…you know that Narcissa girl?"

"Yes. She was there too?"

"Yeah…I felt bad for her for what he did to her…" she shuddered after telling what Thomas did to her and a few others from my house. "Nobody deserved what she and a few others I didn't recognize got…That's why she hasn't been in class lately. Anyway, he used some sort of spell I know the name of, but I can't think of it now. It's was an unforgiveable curse that killed, but not before you suffered extreme pain. He missed on purpose, I guess as some sort of a warning. As soon as that happened, I ran…I had nightmares for weeks after that…I just don't want you to be hurt either. I didn't want to tell you because…well I don't know…you were always around him…"

"Wow…" I had been wondering why Goyle's cheek was so red and why most of my classmates were missing. Now that I think about it, I had remembered seeing Narcissa in the infirmary when I had gone for a checkup. She didn't look too good either. She looked as if she had seen something horrible and sometimes she would scream out for someone not to hurt her when Nurse Promfrey was with me. Had she gone crazy?

"You're not going to join You-know-who…are you?" Lily looked worried. "I don't want that to happen to you…being all mean and dangerous…"

"Of course not!" Truth be told, I wanted to, but then I got pregnant so of course that was out of my future. I had a baby to take care of. I couldn't take any risks.

"Good." she smiled as she squeezed my hand. "I like you Severus and I don't want anything bad to happen to you too."

"Me too." I said smiling back.

After leaving Hogsmeade, I decided to meet back up with Thomas. When I told Lily this, she begged me to be careful, still saying that Thomas was dangerousl. I nodded and left her, a bit scared and nervous. When I met up with him, he was leaning against a tree looking up. I waited until he noticed me to say something. "Okay I'm here now. What did you have to tell me?"

"Did anyone follow you?" he asked quietly.

"No." I frowned. "Are you okay, Thomas? You look…nervous…"

"No…no…I'm fine…" he shook his head. "Follow me…"

I hesitated for a minute. We had been told never to enter the forbidden forest. If it had just been Thomas and me, I would have went, but I was going to have a baby in just a few months. I had no idea what was in it beside some dangerous animals, plants, and other things, so I really didn't want to do it.

"I don't know, Thomas…" I felt Thomas grabbed my hand.

"You trust me don't you, Severus?"

"I…I do…"

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you or your baby…if I do, you can kill me…deal?"

I was a bit shocked at that part. Was he serious? "Uh…okay…deal."

After a while of walking, my feet started to ache, so I was glad when we finally stopped and sat down. I took off my shoes and let myself rest. Thomas sat beside me looking conflicted between something. "Thomas…" he looked at me. "Is something wrong? I have a feeling there is something wrong."

"Severus…I know you're having another man's baby but…" he kissed me. I jumped back confused, horrified, and nervous. "I love you…"

"T-thomas…I…I…" I looked away as he held me, but this time I didn't want to be held. What could I say? If I said the wrong thing, I could end up like Narcissa or worse. "I don't love you…I love…someone else…"

"It's that Gryffindor Lupin isn't it?" he grabbed my shoulders.

I didn't say anything. That menacing look in his eyes scared me. I had never seen him so mad before. He looked…murderous…

"ISN'T IT?" he began squeezing my arms painfully.

"YES! Please let go! You're hurting me!" I whimpered, scared out of my mind.

"I knew it…" he let me go. "You two were always together whenever all of your other friends weren't around…How come you never told me?"

"I didn't know." I rubbed my sore shoulders. "I didn't think you wanted to know."

"…is he the baby's father?" I shook my head. "Is Black the father?"

"Yes…" I looked down. "He…knew about the baby…he meant to hurt me…"

"He doesn't know…" I looked up. Thomas was no longer looking at me. "That was Regulus up on that tower not Sirius."

"R-really?" No wonder he had been begging for forgiveness!

"Yes…he had taken some polyjuice that night on the tower. I saw him taking some just a few minutes before…you know. I had overheard him talking about pulling a prank on his older brother before I had asked him to tell you to meet me at the tower that night. He must have gotten the idea to take advantage of you up there."

"But how did he know I wouldn't have my wand with me?"

"I don't know." he said after a few seconds. "Maybe he took it while you weren't looking, hoping you wouldn't look for it or maybe he hadn't planned on it or wasn't thinking about it and luck was in his favor that night…another one would be that he knew you trusted me enough not to have a wand. Either way, that wasn't Sirius."

"So he doesn't know…" I said mostly to myself. If that was the case, I knew I had to tell Remus and Sirius about the child…

"I'm sorry I was a waste of your time…" he got up.

"Thomas…I…"

He turned away and held up his hand. "You go on back…I'll stay here for a while…"

I nodded and left. When had I gotten inside, I saw Remus talking with Peter. They looked like they were arguing over something. I wondered what they were talking about…I decided not to get seen, so I left them to their arguing by going the long way around. I was surprised when I heard my name being called just as I was about to go into my dorm.

"Oh hey Remus." I smiled. I noticed he looked kind of upset by something, but I just shook it off. I didn't want to really know what that conversation was all about. It might upset even more. "What's up?"

"Nothing…" he tried to look cheerful, but failed. "What have you been up to?"

"Thomas just wanted to talk." He looked like something bothered him. "Um…what's wrong, Remus? You aren't sick are you?" I tried to touch him, but he moved away.

"Severus…is the baby really mine?" he looked serious.

I didn't say anything. Should I be honest or lie? I should be honest with him, but I was scared of what he would say to me…

"Tell me…" he squeezed his eyes shut. "Is this child mine? I have a right to know…"

I looked away looking at a spider crawling on the wall. How could I tell him no without him asking about the father? Sighing, I said yes like an idiot without knowing what I said until it was too late. I tended to say the wrong things when I was pressured.

"No…" he started to cry. "…not mine…"

"What?"

"I said it isn't mine…" he took my hands and squeezed them. "Who's is it?"

"…" I sighed. I knew this day would come and I hated it so damn much. "I'm not telling you…"

"If you loved me, you would tell me…"

"I…I…" I didn't want to hurt him…telling him would only hurt him more. If I said Sirius, who knew what would happen? Remus…he was the only person who ever meant anything to me, besides Black which was a long time ago. Someone had told him the baby wasn't his…Was it Regulus? "No…I can't…"

"You're avoiding my question…" his eyes stared into mine. "Please…even if it isn't mine…I just want to know.

"Remus…no…" I took my hands from mine. "I would tell you, but…I'm sorry…no…if you loved me, you would stop asking."

He didn't say anything for a minute. "I think we should take a break for a while…"

"Fine…" I said with no emotion, but on the inside, I was hurt. He was leaving me? So, I was right when I said he would leave me…he didn't love me. If he did, he would have stayed. I walked back to the dorm and sat on the chair in front of the fire, staring into it in deep thought. How could this be happening? My life was going downhill and I was scared. My baby would have to grow up without a father unless I told Sirius about the baby…what would he do? He could either abandon her or be in her life like I had to be. Either way, I had lost Remus and I will never get him back.


	6. Chapter 6

As Christmas was coming closer, my baby was coming closer to being born. Nurse Promfrey told me that I only had one more month to go before I gave birth. She had also told me that my baby's development was greatly influenced by the potion I had taken, so she would be born three months earlier than a normal one, so she would born in January instead of March. I had written mother about it and she had happily written me back that she had the baby's room all set up and ready. I wonder how long she had been working on it.

Since Remus and I had split, Thomas has been around a whole lot more. He seemed less jealous whenever I talked to someone and stayed around me more. I was happy for the company, but a little suspicious. When the time came to go home, mom told me to stay at Hogwarts because she didn't want me to risk giving birth on the train. I agreed her, but not because of that. It was because I was going to murder Regulus on that train if I did go. Thomas stayed behind to keep me company, but I figured it was for other reasons.

When Christmas came, mom sent me plenty of sweaters to keep me warm, like every Christmas, a few books, and a lot of pictures of the baby's room. She had written that the baby would sleep in my room for the first few months, and then move into its own room. She also included pictures of the many outfits, bows, toys, and other things mothers tended to buy for their babies or grandchildren. I wondered why she would buy of those things for one kid, but I guess mothers tend to do that when they have their first grandchild or first child. I didn't mind it, but I kind of wish she would wait until I bring it home first.

Thomas was generous enough to give the baby a teddy bear. I told him there was no need to give her anything, but he claimed it was a favorite toy of his when he was younger and wanted the baby to have it. I told him I appreciated it and sat it with my other things.

"Thomas, you seem as if you have something on your mind." I had begun to notice Thomas started showing more emotions around me than usual. At first, he was the kind to always to keep calm and be flirty, but now he had gotten so comfortable around me he was no longer like that all the time. "Is there something the matter?"

"No, it's just that…" he looked away. "Severus I just have a lot on my mind right now. Please forgive me, but I can't really share what I wish to share. I feel it would scare you off if I ever told you."

"It's okay Thomas." I smiled. "I know there are some things you can't share with some people for very important reasons. When you're ready, you may tell me. I don't want to force you."

"Thank you." he smiled too. "You're very important to me and I don't want to lose you…"

When he started to move closer, I didn't move away. I cared deeply for Thomas, but no more than a close friend would. I could at least let him have one kiss just because it was Christmas. When his lips touched mine, I felt a little nervous. I felt like, although we weren't together, I was cheating on Remus. No, I couldn't be. We weren't together anymore, but it still felt wrong. When it ended, I quickly excused myself and headed downstairs alone. I missed him a lot and it was far too soon to move on. Could I even get over him? I had to learn that moving on was okay and that if someone had feelings for me, I had to give that person a chance. I knew this, but I was too afraid of moving on. Thomas knew I was having someone's baby, but still cared for me, but I rejected him twice. Maybe I could tell him I'd give him a chance if he would take it slow. No…no matter how much I tell myself this, Remus was the only one who ever loved me like no one ever did before. Everyone who ever said they loved me, hurt me badly, except my mother. I never expected him to leave me, but when he had, I felt like I should have told him everything. Should I have?

"Snape?" I looked back at Black, surprised he had even come this far out to the dungeons, except when he was visiting his brother.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he walked over. "Shouldn't you be at home?"

"Yes." he said brushing his hair out of his face. "I decided not to go home this year."

"I see."

After a while, he handed me a small bear green bear with a pink bow it. "Here, this is for you."

"For the baby, you mean…"

"No, it's for you…." he blushed. "Uh…it's for when you…uh…you know…have it…I mean her…so it won't hurt so much."

"You mean something to squeeze?" I was a bit shocked at this gesture.

"Yeah…" he began to rub the back of his neck. "I had seen my aunt have a baby at home before so…"

"Oh, I see. What it like? Watching your aunt give birth, I mean."

"It looked pretty painful…she screamed a lot and when she gave birth, the baby died and she did too afterwards." then he quickly added, "Not that you and the baby would too."

"Thanks for your concern." I said bitterly.

"Excuse me if I'm telling you what you want to hear." he said with equal bitterness.

"Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have asked." I sighed. "I'm already nervous about it already. I have no clue where this thing is coming out and how much it's going to hurt. I worry about it every day, especially since I was now told that she's coming in January instead of March."

"So soon?" he said surprised. "How?"

"Well the potion made the baby develop a little faster."

"Does it hurt her any?" he asked showing concern.

"I thought so too, but Promfrey told me that she was going to be okay and it wouldn't affect her at all." I was happy that he at least cared for the child.

"That's good." we both stayed quiet for a second. "Severus look…I'm sorry I did what I did because…I…well I wanted to…maybe it's just because…I really…I'm not asking you to forgive me, it's just that I was..."

"Well let's just put this thing behind us." I said interrupting him. "I really couldn't care if you were drunk or cursed or whatever, the important thing is that we're taking care of a child now and we both need to stick together to care for it, because it needs both of us right now, so that's all I need right now, okay."

"Yeah, but…"

"Can you save it for later? I really need to get to Promfrey's for my weekly checkup. You're welcome to come too." I never meant to sound rude, but I really wanted to see how my baby was doing.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea."

As we walked down the hallway, I realized this was this was the first time we actually were in the same place without insulting each other. It felt nice. Nurse Promfrey greeted both of us with a smile. "Good morning, Mr. Snape and Mr. Black. How may I help you today?"

"We're here about the baby."

"Oh so he's the father." We both blushed slightly when she said this. "There's nothing to be a shamed of dear. Severus, please take Sirius to the examining room and wait for me there."

I nodded and showed Sirius the examining room and then went to go change into a hospital gown. When I got I laid down on the examining bed and closed my eyes. I opened up my eyes when I felt a hand touch my stomach. "I did you want something, Sirius?"

"Not really…" he continued to rub my belly. "She's growing pretty big. Is all of this her?"

"Um…I forget what it's called, but it has some sort of fluid or material around it that protects the baby inside of the womb so almost nothing can hurt it, so no it isn't her." I sighed as I felt the baby move. "It also makes it comfortable for her to move."

"That's pretty cool." he continued to rub my belly. "How big is she now?"

"That's what we're here to see." I said. "She's been growing rapidly in between checkups. Since she's pretty close to being born, she's most likely bigger than ever."

Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his ear against my stomach. Since we spent our free time together often, I had grown used him touching me and sometimes kissing my oversized stomach. I never really thought of telling him no, but I guess it was because Remus did this to me when we were together. I hated when he popped into my head and I forced myself to push the very thought of him away. Sirius finally stopped when Nurse Promfrey entered the room. After doing her usual business of checking for the baby's heartbeat and taking sonograms of it, she began asking me questions as usual. "Have you been having anymore pains with going to the bathroom or have been throwing up more blood?"

"I haven't been having any trouble in the bathroom as of late, but I have been throwing up blood still though not as much as I used to." I sat up. "Does that mean anything?"

"That's very good, Severus." she smiled. "It means that as long as you don't consume or be around anything hazardous that makes you sleepy, fatigued, or makes you faint. Any of those things could make you have a stillborn with this potion still in your system, since it is very sensitive, but strong and highly unstable. We wouldn't want that to happen since you have only three more weeks left."

"Thank you." I said as we left after she was done. I thought about what she said and knew I had to be very careful. Three more weeks and I would soon be holding my child. It was amazing that I had only a tiny amount of time until it was born. Sirius seemed to be deep in thought as he walked beside me. I wondered what he thought of having the baby in just a couple of weeks. It was time to start planning what we were going to do once this baby was born. I opened my mouth to say something, but I stopped. I guess we had to cross that bridge when we got to it.

* * *

Sirius couldn't believe this was happening. He seemed okay before. Why didn't he stop James when he had the chance? Damn it…Sirius wondered when Nurse Promfrey was going to let him in the room. It was his fault this was happening in the first place. Damn emotions…he bit his lip. What was going on anyway? When was she going to let him see them? If the baby died he would never forgive himself. Nurse Promfrey walked out looking very distressed. He quickly jumped up.

"Oh Sirius, you're here…did you get my message?"

"I came as soon as I got it." he said quickly. "Is everything okay? D-did the baby make it?"

"I'm afraid not…" she touched his arm. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all my fault…" Sirius felt the tears coming. He didn't want to hear the whole, "No, it's not your fault" speech from anybody right now. It really was his fault and nobody could change that. 'I killed it…I killed it and it's never coming back…'

"Sirius…" she was about to say that it wasn't that it wasn't his fault. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't. Telling someone that it wasn't their fault really didn't help nor did it bring any comfort. All she could do was rub his back and walk him inside.

Sirius took a deep breath before he stepped near. Severus was lying down in the hospital bed, sleeping or at least resting. He looked extremely pale and almost corpse like. Sirius bit his lip and touched the other boy's hand. It felt cold. He let out a breath he never knew he was holding when Severus winced in his sleep.

"Is he going to be okay?" Sirius said, his voice shaking. He never felt so sick in his life.

"Yes, but it will take some time for his body to heal." she sighed. "He's going to be very mentally and physically weak for a few weeks, so anything else will just upset him, even the tiniest of things. He's going to be depressed for a while so fill his head with happy thoughts and keep him from thinking negative. He needs you right now, so please come by often."

"I…I don't know…I don't think he would want me around." He played with his fingers. "He hates me…"

"That's not true, Sirius." she hugged him. "Don't beat yourself over this…it wasn't your fault no matter what happens. Miscarriages happen all the time. It's nobody's fault."

"Except mine…" he mumbled low. "Where is it? I…I want to see her…"

"Are you sure?" she was skeptical about letting the young Gryffindor see his child. "It can be very difficult for a parent to see their…dead child…"

"Y-yes…just to get a look at her b-before…you know…" Sirius bit his lip. He really didn't want to see the child he had killed with his ignorance and stupidity, but he just had to. Even though it would pain him not to hear her voice, feel her touch, hear her laughter, footsteps, or even her first words, he had to at least hold her in his arms before she was buried.

Nurse Promfrey nodded, understanding why. She led him to the back and opened the door that was the examining room. He sat down in a chair until she came out with the baby that was wrapped in a pink blanket. He took a deep breath and reached out for it. His eyes widened as he got a look at his child. She, like Severus, was cold and thin, but unlike Severus, when he touched her tiny little hand, she didn't move. She was so beautiful with her glossy black and gorgeous features, resembling both Sirius and Severus. The young man pressed his cheek to his daughter's cheek and sighed. Why did she of all people have to die so young? She hadn't even gotten to see the world yet or anything else. He was going to regret this more than anything else and nothing could ever be compared to the death of his child. He kissed her forehead and began rocking her back and forth. The nurse gently touched his shoulder and left him alone. She truly felt sorry for him and knew just how he felt. She had also given birth to a stillborn before and it wasn't a very pleasant experience to bury a dead child. She remembered being depressed for days on end and not eating or sleeping. To lose a child at such a young age had to be just terrible.

After a while, Sirius slowly stopped rocking his daughter and looked down at her one last time. She would have surely been a beautiful child if not for the fact that death got to her first. He slowly got up and handed her back to Promfrey. She took the child from him and hugged him. "I'm so sorry Sirius. I'm sure she would have liked you…would you like to stay here until Severus wakes up? I'm sure he could use the company as much as you do…"

Sirius shook his head. "No…I think I should head back to the dorm…tell him that I stopped by…and I'm sorry…"

"Okay, but please stop by tomorrow. He really needs you badly…especially since…you know…"

"I know…thanks for everything. I know you tried your best to take care of him. I really wish that both of them could have made it."

"Me too…me too…"

A few hours later, Severus finally woke up feeling tired and he ached all over. It had to be over four hours since…since…he rubbed his forehead. He hated to even think about it, not because he had just lost his child he had been holding inside of him for months and had grown to love it, but because it literally hurt to think about anything at the moment. He, like Sirius, blamed himself for his baby's death, but not for the same reasons. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like it was his fault and nobody else's. He tried to go back to sleep, but images of his dead daughter kept coming into his head

**_FLASH BACK_**

**_Severus gritted his teeth as he tried pushing out his child. Giving birth was extremely painful, especially with the potion making it harder and harder for him to breath and was adding on to the pain by intensifying it, but none of that mattered as long as his child came into the world. Even as he pushed, something was wrong. Yes, the baby was moving and struggling to get out, but something was wrong. This was the last thought he had before blacking out from the lack of oxygen and intense pain._**

**_When he had woke up, he saw Promfrey holding his baby girl, who he had proudly named Isabella a name Thomas had picked out for him when he could think of none a few days before. He weakly reached out for her and held her in his arms. She kicked out her little feet and moved in his arms as he held her. Severus kissed his precious baby girl on her cheek and smiled. Everything seemed alright until she started kicking violently and curling her fists while her face started turning blue. Severus panicked, not knowing what to do. He called out for Promfrey to see what was wrong. She quickly came over and took out of the room. Two hours later, Severus wondered what was going on after so long…was Isabella going to be okay? What was wrong with her? Despite the pain and soreness, he got up and tried to find the nurse. When he found her, he gripped her arm weakly._**

**_"W-where…is…s-she…" he said in a whisper-like voice. She turned and caught him before he fell on the floor. He expected her to tell him off about getting up while he was in pain, but the sad look in her eyes told him that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. "W-what's wrong? Is she okay?"_**

**_"S-s-severus…I'm sorry…there was nothing I could do…" _**

**_Severus blinked. "What? What do you mean by that?"_**

**_"She's…gone…something was killing her from the inside and caused her throat to swell. I'm not sure what the cause was, but whatever it was, killed her…"_**

**_"What?" he began stepping back. "You mean she's…but I was just…"_**

**_He fainted._**

**_End Flash Back_**


End file.
